AFCENT Chief “Big Mama” Frey leads, serves Airmen with Big Easy smile

Published May 26, 2013
By Staff Sgt. Rachelle Elsea
Air Forces Central Command Public Affairs

SOUTHWEST ASIA -- Born and raised in a southern city filled with culture, a place people travel to from all over to enjoy its many delights, Air Force Central Command's command chief stays true to her roots despite serving her second straight year thousands of miles from home.

"When Katrina hit, it was very devastating to hear the newscaster call the New Orleanians refugees; it absolutely broke my heart," said Chief Master Sgt. Shelina Frey, AFCENT's senior enlisted leader. "They talked about how the city was in poverty, even before the storm, and where that may be true, we didn't believe we lived in poverty; we just lived a simple good life. It doesn't cost you to smile, it doesn't cost you to say hello to somebody, and it doesn't cost you a whole lot to share your red beans and rice with a family member who didn't have it."

It is with that sense of community that Frey leads.

Frey, affectionately called Big Mama by Airmen, grew up in a strong family environment surrounded by her mother, father and two brothers. She holds fond memories of eating good food and playing football in the streets with her brothers.

While her family was tight, growing up she never saw much of the outside world. Her family's only real exposure to what lay beyond her city's borders was through their uncle.

"My mother's only brother joined the Army, so when I was growing up we knew him as that Army guy," she said. "It was watching the pride my uncle had whenever he came home and talked about his Army experiences that really stayed in the back of my mind and I thought, 'Hey, this is pretty cool.' Whenever he talked, we would all listen with our mouths wide open, going wow, there is a world outside."

After graduating high school, Frey attended college planning to become a special education teacher, something she had dreamed of her whole life. Her counselor quelled that vision though, telling Frey that she became too emotionally attached to the children for her, and their, own good.

"So, I went back home and worked in Southern Baptist Hospital, where my mom worked," Frey said. "I ran through the ranks of that very quickly and then realized there is nowhere else for me to go, unless someone dies. That is when I decided I needed more and the military was my only other option."

A fear of the unknown drove Frey to initially join the Louisiana Air National Guard.

"I had never left home before, other than family vacations to Florida and the Air Force is not like Disney World. But I fell in love with this thing called the United States Air Force, the military."

Two and a half years later, Frey signed up for active duty, never once regretting her decision.

"I knew the day I raised my hand, May 13, 1987, I was going to be a lifer," she said.

Frey's career has, like many others, been filled with personal challenges. In the last several years, she's dealt with setbacks, starting with losing her father in 2005.

"I had just become a first sergeant ... and the first Red Cross notification was for me," she said. "I answered the phone as first sergeant and the operator had no idea she was talking to person the notification was for. That was tough."

Just months after the death of her dad, Hurricane Katrina hit and displaced her mother and brothers. Half a decade later, in March 2010, she found out her mom had stage four cancer, almost causing her to close out her Air Force career and head home.

"I had a heart to heart with my mom and she said everything is going to be ok and you can't get out, the Airmen love you and you love what you do," Frey said. "The doctors told me she had a year to live. September 1, 2010, my mother passed away; I was devastated. I didn't think I could continue to serve with the same enthusiasm and energy without my mom because she was my motivator, my peace of mind and my best friend."

Returning to work was a hard task for Big Mama. She struggled to find the motivation she felt she needed to carry on as an effective leader. It was then that a young Airman helped her back to her feet.

"Airman 1st Class James calls me on the phone and he said, 'Hey Big Mama, how are you doing?'" Frey explained. "I said, 'Son, Big Mama is not doing so well, can I call you back?' and he hangs up. No sooner had I hung up the phone and turned around, he was in my office and for some reason, when he stepped into the office, I began to cry. The kid comes to me and hugs me and said, 'Everything is going to be OK.' And I said, 'I don't know, I don't know if I can do this.' He said, 'Hang in there because we need you, I need you.'"

After a long weekend, Frey called the Airman to tell him she was going to be okay and, again, he returned to the office.

"He gave me a hug, but this time, he lifted me up off the floor and he turned me around," she said. "There was something about the turning me around and putting me back on my feet that motivated me. From there on, I just kept moving and I still have my moments, but I am encouraged even more to give back because I know this is my calling."

Frey continues to move forward and help the Airmen who have helped her so much, this time by voluntarily serving a second year in Southwest Asia.

"I saw this as an opportunity to continue to make a difference for our Air Force," she said. "I always said the Air Force can send me anywhere, as long as there was an Airman I could take care of."

It's because of that drive to take care of her Airmen that she was fondly dubbed Big Mama.

"In the south, Big Mama was the matriarch of the family who made things better, who people went to. And even if it was bad news, or something you didn't want to hear, she always made it okay," the chief said. "I like being called Big Mama better then chief because it means something. When Airmen do something wrong they are more worried about disappointing me than the punishment they are going to get. That is true leadership."

This Big Mama has been serving proudly for more than a quarter century and has no plans to slow down.

"I will go until the Air Force taps me on the shoulder and says 'Thank you, it's time for someone else to take over; you have prepared them well.'"