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Remembering a brother, father, friend

  • Published
  • By Staff Sgt. Alexandria Mosness
  • U.S. Air Forces Central Command Public Affairss
FORWARD OPERATING BASE FENTY, Afghanistan --  Though he was killed in a suicide bomber attack alongside two Soldiers in Kunar Province, Afghanistan on Aug. 8, the memory of U.S. Air Force Maj. Walter Gray thrives in his teammates and helps them carry on their mission.

"DG," as he was known to his friends, is remembered for his smile, his dedication, his love for his family, and even for his short, black physical training shorts.

"He had a really big smile that included every part of his face," said Senior Airman Caleb Mason, one of his Airmen. "His whole face smiled, not just his mouth."

Though the dust has cleared and the memorial ceremonies are over, Gray is still present among his men deployed throughout Afghanistan.

From picking up Gray's weapon months later, to getting brownies from Gray's family, the 817th Expeditionary Air Support Operations Squadron Airmen are constantly reminded of the man they looked up to, their air liaison officer... their comrade, their friend.

"Major Gray was a fantastic ALO," said Tech. Sgt. Aaron Cass, 817th EASOS Joint Terminal Attack Controller. "He really really loved us. He was always smiling. He never had a mean thing to say about anything, ever."

That was just his character, Cass said.

"I don't think there is anybody that he has ever met that could dislike him in any way, shape or form."

"Everyone deals with it in their own way," Cass said. "Our Army counterparts depend on us for a lot of things. We have to continue the mission. There is a time and a place to really remember him. And you have to kind of put that off to the side while you are here."

Gray was known wherever he went. Even in Afghanistan, he always ran into someone he knew.

Cass laughed and said, "He could probably go out here in the middle of Afghanistan and he is going to run into somebody in a village he knows. It's insane, but that was his character. That was him. He would talk to anybody."

For the younger guys in the squadron, he was their first ALO.

"He wasn't just an officer or flight commander, he was everybody's friend," said Airman 1st Class Tommy Allgier. "He always did everything he could so that everybody succeeded as a whole."

"Everybody misses him," Allgier added. "He always held us to a higher standard than everybody else. Just passing wasn't good enough. You always had to be the best."

The other Airmen share the same sentiments.

"He was a very real person," Mason said. "We gave him the facts, the truth. There were no secrets between the major and his enlisted below him."

Gray's highest enlisted, Tech. Sgt. Mitchell Polu, said they were a match made in heaven.

"We just clicked as far as our goals, our future endeavors, how we raise our families and how we lead our men," he said. "It's not too often you can find someone like that, especially an officer in this community, that sees it the same way you see it."

Polu and Gray spent a lot of time together, which meant there was always mischief lurking around the corner for the duo.

"Every time I'm alone with the dude, it seems we are always getting into trouble," he said.

It's this same brother relationship that explains the hugs between Polu and Gray.

"Usually we don't shake hands, we don't high five and we don't wave," Polu said. "Every time we greet each other, we hug. It doesn't matter if I hug him in the morning, hug him in the afternoon, hug him at nighttime. That is how we communicate as far as, "I've got your back' and vice versa. It is one of those unspoken things. It's normal for us."

On the day Gray died, the two almost missed their normal salutation.

"We both walked out of the office, and we went opposite ways," Polu recalled. "For some odd reason, something made me turn around. There is no way we could see each other. Well, I did an about face. Not knowing he was going to do the same thing. We met up right in the middle. So for me, it meant a lot. You don't have to say anything, he already knew. So I gave him a hug and wished him a safe trip and that I would be seeing him back in a few hours."

"And that was the last time I saw him," Polu said. "But I tell you this though, he died doing what he loves," [It was] not necessary the job itself, but looking after his men."

When his men found out he was killed in action, they were stunned.

"Disbelief was the first thing that comes to mind," said Capt. Matthew Perry, 817th EASOS ALO.

But Perry said he automatically went to what the major had taught him.

"The first thing that popped into my head was how he tried to train me and talk to me about situations like this beforehand," he said. "And I was trying to make sure I followed his guidance. It was almost like instantaneously he popped into my head and started talking me through stuff. Hey focus on this, focus on that."

"I was lost [when I found out,]" Polu said.

"For a moment there, I thought I couldn't breathe," he continued. "For this deployment he was my best friend and he was the dude that I turned to when I felt the weight of the world was coming on me. He was our glue. He pretty much kept the team together. It was a huge loss for the Air Force and especially for his men."

Many talk about Gray in the present tense, as it has not yet hit them, and they still refer to him as if he is still here - for some he is.

"He is always with me," Perry said. "I think about him more as a brother."

Polu shares the same feelings as Perry, but it was especially hard for him to realize he was gone when he escorted him half way home.

"I escorted him [to Bagram Airfield, Afghanistan] to keep him company," Polu said. "It was tough. I'm not going to lie, but I was not going to leave him alone. I'm just glad it was me taking him at least half way home. But still, yes, it did hit me as far as the shock and everything else. But I didn't really see him as laying there. I saw him as sitting next to me the whole time. It was an experience I never felt before. Yes, he is gone, but I couldn't feel it."

"I still talk to him this day, like he is still there you know," he said

His coworkers cannot describe Gray without talking about his family. Gray and his wife Heather had three children, Nyah, Garrett and Ava.

"There wasn't a day that went by that Major Gray didn't talk about his family," Polu said. "There is that special smile and the way his eyes light up every time he mentions them or when he shows us pictures or talks about their trip down to Florida or birthday parties they were planning."

Gray's men had messages for his children about their father.

"I'd just tell his kids, your dad was a fighter," said Staff Sgt. Joseph Gilbert, 817th EASOS JTAC. "Your dad knew how to take care of his subordinates and also knew how to listen to their needs. But in the end, he was fighter and he fought for what he believed in."

"Well, we all wish we could have fathers like him," Perry said.

"This is first time I have actually lost a friend who I consider a brother and a father figure," Polu said. "This is the first time, someone I work with I can say, 'You are my hero.' And, I will hold on to that and hopefully carry on. He was well loved, not liked, loved around here. Not a single day, your dad walked around with a frown on his face. Your dad was a great man. I just wish a lot of people were like him . . . not only as an officer, but as a human being. He was always smiling. . . Always smiling."