Relationships Matter
By Lt. Col. Bruce Bartholomew, 379th Air Expeditionary Wing Host Nation Coordination Cell
/ Published April 22, 2011
SOUTHWEST ASIA -- Each of us must interact with other people, and how we respond to these interactions define how we and others view our relationships and our world.
What are relationships? The World English Dictionary definition is "the state of being connected or related." Relationships can run the gamut from short term acquaintances lasting only a few moments to long-term friendships that can include loving someone with your whole heart and soul. They may be impromptu, such as sitting together on an airplane, or they may be arranged as in a supervisor-subordinate relationship common in many workplaces, including our Air Force.
But why do relationships matter? They allow you to remember your interaction with another person which can impact your entire life. Relationships provide the understanding that comes from sharing an experience together that will be forged in the memories of the people involved.
Being in a deployed location can bring challenges to our lives. Many of those challenges are based on relationships. First, many of us left families for an extended period of time, so the separation that comes from being away is not easy. Many of us provided support to our loved ones, and now, we can only provide a sympathetic ear via Skype. Second, we have all left work relationships at our former bases, and now must merge into a new team here in the area of responsibility. Some Airmen will successfully transition while other will find it difficult to make the adjustment to a new supervisor, peer, or subordinate.
We could attempt to be alone and do things on our own, but we must strive to work together as a team to go beyond our own expectations and achieve the mission. Our efforts must extend beyond ourselves and encompass our co-workers. We need to learn to develop an understanding of our supervisors, subordinates and peers to become an effective team. That's where we must work hard to build solid relationships.
Building solid relationship takes work. Take the time to truly listen to your teammates and understand their perspectives. Before you provide your insight, pause and then listen some more. These pauses may be awkward, but they allow your teammate to continue to share thoughts and ideas. Then, share your thoughts and ideas, but do so in a non-judgmental way.
Many of us in the Host Nation Coordination Cell sit down with our host nation counterparts to foster our relationships. Taking the time to drink some tea and learn about their families and their thoughts on the news of the day have enabled us to develop friendships that will enable future cooperation.
An old Turkish proverb states that "no road is long with good company." Taking time to develop relationships will allow you deeper insight into how to build trust to generate goodwill, foster cooperation and strengthen the synergy between you and them. You and your friend will both benefit from the results of this effort.